Grief & Loss
Grief and loss is something that we all must face at some time in our lives. When we lose someone or something special or important to us, it can sometimes feel like we will never fill the giant hole left in our lives by that loss. I remember a time when I was 21 – losing someone who was like an older brother to me and then losing my dad shortly after. It’s safe to say that devastation doesn’t begin to describe how I felt. If I’m really honest, I don’t think I’ll ever truly be able to describe how I felt in that time. This time of my life did however teach me some valuable lessons on working through grief.
Grief is not a linear, five step process we all follow in the same way. Grief happens in stages, but those stages can often make you feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster.
Father Mike Schmitz says:
“Our emotions don’t tell us the truth of reality, but emotions do reveal the truth of our hearts”.
One way we can support someone through this is to ask them about a fond memory they have of that person or thing, or maybe ask them if there is anything they would like to do to remember them.
Grief is a process, NOT a task.
It’s important that we allow ourselves to feel what it is we need to feel. It’s even more important that we find a safe place and safe people to do that with. Parents, if your young people are hurting, don’t tell them to try and look at the positives and just move on. Take the time to sit with them in the pain and help them move through it.
In order to move on, we need to acknowledge that grief exists.
Losing someone or something important to us is never easy, and it’s important to remember that it’s okay to not be okay. It’s important that we allow ourselves time to grieve. Some days will be harder than others, and other days will feel like you again. When we’re having those bad days, find that safe person or place and share how you’re feeling. It’s not weak to share how we’re feeling. It helps us feel it and then deal with it, so that we can go back to school, work or looking after our family.
It’s important not to neglect our physical health. It’s really easy to forget to do the things we usually do out of routine like: Showering, sleeping, eating and exercising.
There are going to be days that are harder than others. When we find ourselves in those hard days, it’s important to get into a routine and have people around you that can check in on you and speak into your life when we need it.
Finally, reach out.
We have some incredible counsellors and chaplains at the College who you can speak to. You can also find some incredible resources online to support you.
Community directories | City of Mandurah
God Bless
Chris Greene | Chaplain
